Meander

Not sure I want to continue this line of journal.

Henry stays at work. How does he know what's okay or not?

I'm settling... Well, in what way is that true?

I think 'being settled' is about how much of daily life, physical and in one's mind, can be taken for granted. But I'm not even sure how to understand that.

I do the stuff - show up for work at an almost-reasonable time, attend as appointed, even do an interesting thing or two. Pretend I still care about the organisation.

I almost can see clear air between the overall idea of the Master Plan, how to cope with increasing traffic over 30 years, and the attempt to break that into plannable chunks; and waves of my inclination, now in the past, to shove the organism into seeing itself as a whole.

The sociological mind draws a thread around the organisation. While the consciousness of the organisation is a multi-coloured undulating thing, never to have an over-all or completely constrained awareness, however we of business process mindedness might try. It's all politics and power, and sub-culture.

So, what care I? Much less than 7 months ago. Please, just give me things I am able to do (now you no longer love me and my vision), and pay me. SGH my supervisor/team leader would win prizes for de-motivational capability! He feels so powerless himself, and is so unskilled a manager that all his team never raise eyes above 30 degrees to the horizon, while chuckling over whatever the latest irony is. Not sure I could do 'better' but I'd sure do it differently! Not talk so much to the troops about what we weren't going to do.

Henry's vibes are 'remember the parents?' Yes, I've spoken to them two days in a row. That nice Dr. H has prescribed something for Frances's itch on her bottom. She doesn't feel comfortable with what's involved.

In summary, Dad's doing pretty well at remembering what's required. Frances is bubbly but 'gets tired' - I guess she gets overwhelmed, and can't sort out what's going on. This happens whether she's going to PEO or trying to drive or at church. They're eating, but goodness knows what.

I'm likely to go for 9 days, the end of Easter thru Derby Day. Haven't mentioned this to work...

If Henry were here, he'd probably be eyeing me askance, asking what I think I'm doing up at this hour?