BACK TO THE BLOG!!

It is almost four weeks since my last post, from Louisville, moving out of my apartment. I have read S's Cancerblog a moi, he is my dear friend. But only finally tonight have I reached for the memory of how to log in to do my own.

Henry is now back in his usual place, atop my monitor at work - I'll post another picture soon. But he did say, as I was leaving this evening, that he thinks I need to get back to this outletting activity. Couldn't agree more.

So many tears not falling! I reckon they're old tears, never shed when I moved and moved and moved as a child; and Mother gone, baby gone, marriage gone. All my loss-sprites attracted to the current woe, lending their magical weight to make me sorrow deeply for leaving Dad, Frances, Louisville.

I try to look 'half full' (and for S too). (Dad and Frances email, sound fine.) But you know? That's an intellectual game. If you feel half - 4/5ths! - empty, in your gut, cherishing the 1/5 fullness takes real meditative work, in a warm environment. You have to swim down thru the empty 4/5ths. Fat chance. Luckily I do have a under-consciousness process that leads me back to bouyancy, whatever. I know now that if I look the 4/5ths full-face, the up-bubble will follow.

I can sort of hear Henry saying this is probably enough for one posting. But, I have just so much to say, for having cut off so long! I'll just go recharge the glass, and put on some hand cream. Actually washed dishes! B coming for tea tomorrow, needed dishes out of the way... and I did it! See, that's the bubbling up happening. Can't make myself, have to just sort of siddle round to it.

I imagine Henry chuckling, watching me siddle in his mind's eye.